National Women’s Day was yesterday. Personally, I think every day should be Women’s Day. The power and the influence we hold as women are magnificent. We are wives, mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and friends. We are the nurturers who help others. When our parents are aging and becoming more dependent, it is often us as women who step in and help. It is our maternal side that makes it so natural for us to be the emotional and supportive providers for those in our lives. Yet, giving without replenishing can have a negative effect on us, though.
We have to make sure that as nurturers to others, we don’t forget to nurture ourselves. If we are depleted, we have nothing to give others. The well runs dry. For mothers, especially of young children, it is important not to lose yourself in the day-to-day title of Mommy.
I remember when my kids were little, I was Mommy and nothing else. I lost my sense of identity as a wife and more importantly as a woman. I put my all into my children because THEY WERE MY ALL. It was hard for me to have balance. I missed my woman’s identity, but at the moment, I was satisfied with giving it up. Looking back, I could have served myself and my kids better had I found a balance between Mother/Wife/Woman. The relationship I had with my children would have been healthier because I would have made them more independent at the moment, but I was selfish.
It is ok to be selfish. They are only little once. I loved those young childhood years so much. They were so precious, so sweet and they needed me! I ate it up but with it I also allowed my womanhood to be eaten up. I am trying to connect with any Moms out there who are reading this blog and find it resonates with them. The question is: Would I have changed things if I could go back? Probably not, but I can offer advice in hindsight to others who are going through what I did right now.
I think that striking a balance is healthier and you will be happier in the long run not to lose your identity of being a WOMAN. Eventually, your little ones will grow up and move away like one of mine has and my youngest will be a senior in high school next year and then she is off the college. When the nest is empty, you need to either find yourself or improve yourself. You will be on a new journey. So, my advice is don’t lose yourself along the way. You can be everything to everyone if you include yourself in this equation.
Here are some tips to help you maintain your womanhood. First, you need to connect with your sisterhood often – female friends, siblings and especially your Mother, if she is alive. Sharing your experience with others and venting is needed and important to gain another perspective.
Secondly, take time every morning to recognize your blessings and give thanks. Write an affirmation list of at least five affirmations to put by your bathroom mirror and repeat daily. (You can find an affirmation list on my website: https://www.sacredaura.com) Meditate for at least ten minutes every morning. You may have to get up 15 minutes before the kids, but once you get into the habit it will be well worth it. You will be grounding yourself for the day’s stressors and it will help you be a more patient and calmer mother.
Thirdly, do some light stretching or yoga poses for 15 minutes each morning. Get the kids involved. They will love it and it will be good for them! Try to walk outside in nature every day. Connecting with nature is good for your soul and helps you to recognize how much you have to be thankful for. Exercise every day for at least 30 minutes and eat healthy.
Finally, every night, before you go to sleep, write in a gratitude journal what you are thankful for from the day’s events. Think positive and loving thoughts before you drift off to sleep. Take time for yourself and don’t lose yourself. Embrace your womanhood!
